Not Picky, Just Particular: How to Foster Your Child’s Love of Mealtime

By: Haley Keller

Hey, I know you. 

You’re here because your toddler just threw the Michelin-worthy, Pinterest-approved meal you made directly on the floor—right?

And if your child is anything like mine, he looked you right in the eyes as he squished every turkey pinwheel between his tiny fingers…and let them fall. One. By. One.

Or maybe your meals look more like a buffet for the weary: cheese cubes, a stale puff or two, and—if you’re savvy—a leaf or piece of cardboard, since that’s the only thing they seem excited about eating these days.

The result is the same—food is everywhere but in their tummy.

I see you, Mama. 

Here are a few tips from your friend beside you in the trenches. No magic formula—just a few rhythms that worked for us…

At least they did last Tuesday.

🍓Let Curiosity Lead

Instead of aiming for empty plates, invite exploration: squishing, sniffing, poking, licking.
It’s not just mess—it’s following curiosity and forming trust.

Sometimes they need a head start. If they’re eyeing the avocado like it’s an alien artifact, try guiding their hands to the smashed goodness. I bet when they start clapping with delight some of that avocado will find its way in. 

Encouraging curiosity builds trust, reduces pressure, and helps your child build their own relationship with food.

Worried about cleaning the mess? Try a vinyl tablecloth underneath the highchair and invest in some of those plastic bowl covers to use as a hairnet. Then, when it’s time to clean, you can even use the ‘hairnet’ as a glove to pick up the stray bits strewn across the tabletop. 

🌞Model The Joy

As much as possible, sit with them (even if you’re not eating a whole meal yourself) and let them see you enjoy your food. Smile. Talk. Be present.

I’ve noticed that mealtime tantrums are less common when I take the time to engage with him while he eats. 

Kids are wired to mirror—so the more delight they see in you, the more they associate mealtime with connection, not correction. 

My son and I have this joke with broccoli. In the stereotypical way, he hates it. But, if I put it on my plate, I can see him craning his neck to catch a glimpse of it on my fork. Then comes the reach and the handoff. While he may take a bite and soon spit it out, he’s at least tried it. Then, we both chuckle at the grossed out face he made and try something else. 

🌈 Serve the Rainbow (and a Little Crunch)

Offer a variety of colors and textures every meal—even if it’s just three options on the plate.

Toddlers crave novelty and routine. Berries of all shapes and sizes are secretly your friends.

Give them a familiar favorite, something new, and something weirdly shaped. That’s a win. 

Think about your nutritional goals too. Concerned about protein intake? Try eggs with spinach, yogurt, and kiwi for breakfast. If they only eat the kiwi? They still got a little protein along with vitamin C and potassium!   

It often takes over a dozen tastes of something before our taste buds warm up to it. Last month, my son wouldn’t take more than a bit of his pea puff snacks. Now? He’s signing more, more, so quickly I can hardly get them out of the bag fast enough. 

Keep it consistent and keep it going—you’ll see the benefits soon!

🗣️ BONUS: Let Mealtime Be a Language Lesson

I have a tendency to rush through mealtime. What helps me slow down when I’m eating with my son is to describe what I’m eating—not just what it is, but why you like it:

“This blueberry is so tart—it makes my lips pucker, but that makes it more fun!”

During mealtime, you’re not just feeding bellies—you’re building vocabulary, awareness, and a more mindful eater.

Want to add a fun twist? Pretend you’re the judge on your favorite cooking show. My go-to is Chopped since our fridge often impersonates a mystery box. Then, talk about what you’re eating, and how it’s impacting you. 

Even if your tot isn’t talking yet, they’ll eventually look at you with that one eyebrow raised and the frown that says: “I’ll be the judge of that” as they take the roasted carrot you just described as “crunchy and sweet. 10/10” from your hand.

And hey, maybe they’ll try it and instantly spit it out. But one day they’ll be able to tell the lunch lady her carrots were “gross because they were mushy and sticky at the same time.” 

Parenting for the win.

🎨 Pinwheels and Proof 

We tried turkey pinwheels again today. I swapped the ricotta cheese for hummus and…he ate one whole wheel! It’s easy in this “what my child eats in a day” age to run to extremes—they’re not eating anything! 

While my son didn’t eat any of the pinwheels on his first go, he scarfed down a fist of raspberries and he scooped a handful of hummus like it was ice cream. 

That’s fiber, vitamin C, antioxidants, healthy fats, and protein in two fistfuls. 

That is something. 

When we revisited the pinwheels this week, he was ready to explore more than before even if most of the rolls were left untouched. 

That is something. 

If you have concerns about weight loss or lack of weight gain, always consult your child’s pediatrician. But if they’re just slowly warming up to eating, try building joy around sharing a meal together. The eating will follow. 

And remind yourself: they’re not eating nothing. 

They’re just building a particular palette that’s all their own. 

Way to go, Mama!